by Brittney Chan
Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful (or tenderhearted), be courteous.
1 Peter 3:8
I had a cool experience the other day and want to share it with you. I was at school for a lab weekend and met with a specific group of people with disabilities. Some of them had amputations. Some had been in terrible car accidents and suffered from spinal cord injuries (SCI). But they all used wheelchairs for everyday mobility. They exchanged their stories with us and then showed us all sorts of unique and adaptive things they did to live more independently. For example, one man, who’d lost the use of his fingers, showed us how he picks up his phone if he ever drops it on the ground. We even got to try out the adaptive sports wheelchairs and try our hand at a basketball game. Let me just tell you - basketball in a wheelchair is NOT easy!
Toward the end of the day, we all were sitting around talking with one of the players - we’ll call him Tom - and noticed that only half of his face was flushed and sweaty. The other half looked perfectly normal. It was crazy! We were obviously curious at the contrast of colors and Tom explained that the part of his spinal cord that sent signals to his brain to regulate his body’s temperature had been damaged in the accident. For people without SCI, these signals are sent to both sides of the body and the skin becomes flushed and sweaty to avoid overheating. But his body worked differently because of the trauma he’d been through.
Immediately, I thought about how there was a credible reason for this strange thing I’d just observed. Superficially, I might have looked at this guy’s physiological response to the heat, thought “Wow. That’s weird,” and moved on…but there was a reason for it. There’s always a reason for the way someone else acts or speaks or thinks…
I hope you can grasp this example, see it in your mind, and know where I’m going with it. As Tom was talking, I could feel myself actually gaining an understanding of what had happened to him and the resulting limitations. Exercising the skill to listen to someone else’s story, in turn, gave me wisdom.
Sometimes we might observe someone and quickly form judgments based on what we see. We may find their behavior or responses odd without understanding the story behind them. However, just like Tom's unique physiological response had a reason rooted in his past experiences, every person has reasons for their actions and behaviors.
God calls us to understand and love one another deeply. In Proverbs 20:5, it says, “Counsel in the heart of man (or woman) is like deep water; but a man (or woman) will draw them out." This verse reminds us that everyone has a story, and it takes effort and compassion to truly understand each other.
In 1 Peter 3:8, we are encouraged, "Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful (or tenderhearted), be courteous.” By listening to others and understanding their journeys, we grow in empathy and wisdom, enabling us to support and uplift those around us.
So I’m challenging you today. Do the work. Take the time to connect with someone, to listen to their story, and to appreciate the reasons behind who they are. As we value our relationships and deepen our connections, we reflect God’s love and build a community rooted in compassion and understanding.
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